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Happy Easter Everyone!
Femme Foetal Folklore
Pink, Blue or Neutral?
MILF-IT baby, yeah!
Mutton or MILF?

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Happy Easter Everyone!

Some say Happy Easter, I say Happy Chocolate-eating day!
 
Despite my best efforts, if it wasn't for seafood BBQ's on Good Friday I'd forget the meaning of Easter altogether. All religious connotations go out the window at the first glimpse of that shiny foil adorning a perfectly smooth egg on Easter Sunday!! Oh how I love the crack that sounds with the first bite! 
 
 
Sunday is a day of leisure, right? What better way to relax than overdosing on serotonin and phenylethylamine, released from the pleasure center of your brain?
 
 
'But my figure!' ...some may say
...I've got it covered- eat them all at once!
 
Surely one well-deserved binge does less harm than drip feeding from a fridge stocked with a year's supply of chocolate! 
 
Chocolate is rumoured to be an aphrodisiac. To me, Easter beats Valentine's Day in regards to connecting with your partner. The weather's getting cooler, and snuggles are a'plenty.
 
Don't be concerned if your pregnant. Unless stated by your doctor, sex is considered safe through all three trimesters. It can even help speed things along of you're over the 39 week mark. 
 
So throw guilt aside for this one day of the year and let me hear those non-fetilised eggs crack!

Femme Foetal Folklore

 
 
So your beloved Grandmama Millicent swears your having a girl, but your best friend slapped down $50 on it being a girl. How do you really know for sure??
 
 
If you're the folk-lore inclined, there are infinate possibilities...
 
First of all, Watch the Pendulum Swing:
Hang a pendant over your belly or any small weighted item attached to a string, such as a ring. If it moves in a circular motion, a girl is on her way. If it swings back and forth, break out the blue booties.
 
 
Skin and Body Signs: 
If you’re experiencing acne, or carrying extra weight out front, you’re carrying a girl. More around the hips and booty but looking 'all a-glow'? Blame it on a boy. 
 
Feeling a little lopsided with 'the girls' or feeling a little less fabulous than usual? If your left breast is larger than your right, thank you, baby girl!
 
It’s All in the Areolas: 
If they darken, it’s a boy.
 
Little Boy Brady:
If the fetal heartbeat is above 140 beats per minute=girl. Below 140=boy.
 
Pregnancy Cravings:
Around conception, did your diet consist of mainly of salty foods and red meat? Hello, boy! If you ate a lot of sweets and calcium-rich foods, you’re carrying a girl.
 
The Conception:
Didn’t have an orgasm during that fateful moment you conceived (DARN)? Chances are you’re carrying a girl. Did you have sex right at ovulation? A bouncing baby boy just might be in store for you. Slipped in a little nookie 2-3 days before ovulation and again two days after? You just might be tickled 'pink'.
 
More Fun Myths...
Carrying high? Hello, Josephine. Carrying low? Hello, Joe. Experiencing a lot of morning sickness early in your pregnancy? A girl just might be the culprit. Is the dad-to-be gaining weight right as your baby continues to grow? ...like father, like son.
 
 
 
 
Personally, I had schiatic pain and hearburn so bad I carried a bottle of Mylanta in my handbag. According to internet forums (and my friends), this was meant to indicate a boy with lots of hair. Also, I didn't 'pop' until the late stage of my pregnancy- boy, boy, boy! Funny thing is... I actually had... A BOY, with a head of thick dark hair! Old-wives-tales must originally come from somewhere!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Please comment on your own experiences :)

Pink, Blue or Neutral?

...It's a boy! No, wait, ...it's a girl!!
 
The question today is on gender. Would you race towards your 2nd ultra sound in heated anticipation, paint brush in hand, so you can paint your nursery pink or blue when you get home? Or are you a neutral, green and brown gal, who'd rather 'keep it a surprise'?
 
Personally, I figured it would be a huge surprise either way, so I opted to know I had a penis inside me for the second time since conception lol. My bouncing baby boy is everything that was promised and more. But has anyone ever been told the wrong gender? 
 
With all the effort it takes to prepare for bub, I'd be inclined to keep the pink ribbons and lacey dresses in the hope nobody notices the difference (I could always foot the psychiatrry bill later)  ;)

MILF-IT baby, yeah!

Interesting...
 
I had a topic put to me at work today regarding the free MILF tote bags I've been throwing around. Apparently she had not heard of the term MILF, but her teenage sons had... you can imagine how the scenario played out? "Where did you get THAT mum?" "Someone at WORK gave it to you?" "No, you can't wear that in public"...
 
Hmmmm, ...despite initially wanting to apologise for this faux par, I persisted... 
 
 
Most teenage boys will never ever accept their mother into main-stream pop culture. However! Had they seen this SAME bag on the arm of an unrelated pram-pushing hottie, they might have thought it was awsome!
 
So my thoughts are towards the ones who 'could'. Could you take back a previously derogatory term and own it for yourself? Could you model yourself as a confident, unique individual that does not follow social norms?  Do you approve of yourself as someone others could admire?
 
If your answer is yes to these, like or not you are a true MILF! So MILF-IT baby, Yeah!

Mutton or MILF?

How can you tell Mutton from MILF?..

DILF

This is like a dream come true...
 
My own MILF label on the side of a race car? That would make my father so proud! This dream has become a reality thanks to the generosity of Adam Ronke from Tampered Motorsports. This man is a champion in more ways than one!
 
To celebrate our milestone (and extend our target market a little) MILF is hard at work creating a DILF page! This will be 'geared' towards dads (forgive the pun). Blokey dads. Dads that enjoy a brewski or 3 and understand comprehensivly why Ford is better than Holden (or visa versa).
 
MILF will be getting our hands dirty printing novelty tees and bumper-stickers. The only things we wont be doing (yet) are faux flood lights and bumper bars for prams ...that comes later ;)
 
So any suggestions will be well met and much appreciated,
 
GO DADS!!!

House of Harlow

Apparently I'm behind in my blogs...
 
 
Check this imitation House of Harlow necklace bitchessss!!!!

3630 Festival is nearly here!!!

Well it's been a hard slog...
 
This year has been HUGE! New business, new baby, new screen printing skills... all culminating on this Labour Day weekend, March 13th. No wonder my Big Pond movies are piling up.
 
My plan was to buy a press to create my own punk-inspired maternity tees. You know, lesiurely knock out a few designs here and there? However, with the advent of Shepparton's 3630 Festival our shed has become a crazy production line. We got permission to showcase them at the fest before we'd even assembled the thing- but how hard could it be, right?
 
I take my MILF notepad everywhere for when inspiration strikes. Anything bad-ass that runs through my head goes into that book. I came up with cheesy touristy tees with a twist, complete with the recent locust plaugue and King Kong hanging from the Shepp tower.
 
Months later, hundreds of tees line every wall in our house, nana has been put to work as official ironer and my nails may never recover from weeks of built-up fabric ink :/
 
Kudos to Lemon Tree cafe, who helped move most of our designs into an open forum, and kudos to Kiel Egging from Shepp News, who was nice enough to do a story on us (to be featured this week). But most of all, kudos to JAMIE LEA, who organised this shinn-dig from start to finish and kindly gave us permission to sell.
 
The Leo horoscope points to immediate success, so I'm thinking positive, but regardless of what happens, MILF is out there giving it a go and keeping it real- SHEPPRESENT!!

Pregnancy body issues

Don't we wishhhh...
 
 
Ok, so you might have expected your pregnancy to end up every other story you hear about on the net, tv or radio. Your body will shrink dramatically and you'll end up on a Victoria's Secret runway in 6 weeks like Gisele Bundchen. Simple, right? Think again...
 
Rather than resembling the pic above, you're more likely to look like this (taken post triplets), or somewhere in the middle...
 
 
 
But you're not alone...
 
For those who can't afford tummy tucks like Kate Gosselin, on average, it takes about a year or more to shrink to your pre-partum baby weight. Do I hear the cries of shocked regret? Possibly. Our society has swayed to the wayside of unrealistic body image. So whilst you lament your inability to 'bounce back' like Hiedi Klum, remember your body is built like that for a reason. Your body is built to not only create, but nourish, another human being. 
 
Celebrities and the media have set the bar WAY too high- "We don't have the kind of lifestyle that would allow for that kind of quick loss -- and the sooner women recognize that, the better they will feel about themselves, " says Laura Riley, MD, a high-risk-pregnancy expert from Massachusetts General Hospital and spokeswoman for the American Collage of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.
 
Am I alone in disputing the idea 'breast feeding makes the kilos drop off'? It only made me hungrier ...AND crave sweet stuff! But this is what your body needs!!- "You should be eating at least 1,800-2,000 calories a day while breastfeeding, and if you eat less you will not only be shortchanging yourself, you'll be shortchanging your baby. You can't produce quality milk if you are not eating enough," says nutritionist Elizabeth Somer, RD, author of Nutrition for a Healthy Pregnancy.
 
My advice is to embrace your new bod. See it for the life-giving temple that it is. There would be a population crisis if we all looked like supermodels, because half those dames don't even menstruate.
 
As your body grows, look at yourself in the mirror. Feel your tummy. Accept the inevitable and enjoy the journey. Oh, and don't wait for the demoralising moment when your clothes don't fit to get a new wardrobe. Browse MILF for clothes to see  you through pregnancy and beyond :)

Can you tell I have a bag fetish?

Introducing...
 
What a week! First batch of Soon clothing arrived as well as the beginning of my very own MILF line in the way of super-stylish oversized bags. The idea came from one of my earlier blogs about the Olsen twins. I even have a bag named after Ashley.
 
MILF bags are iconic. Each one is spacious enough to carry emergency Tena's, mylanta bottles and the odd anchovie jar (pregnancy purse staples lol). I also made sure they are large enough to act as nappy bags for when you become a genuine super sexy MILF mother!
 
 
MILF Olsen nappy bag- genuine Italian leatherThis bag is HUGE. I did say over sized, right?
 
 
 
MILF three sectioned nappy bag- genuine Italian leatherThree sectioned MILF bag is not unlike the Chloe Bay bag style- hawwwwt
 
 
 
MILF Cara nappy bag- genuine Italian leatherThis Cara bag is so cute- can you envisage milk bottles jutting out the end pockets?
 
 
 
 
MILF Pockets nappy bag- genuine Italian leather
There are so many pockets in this bag- all the inside stuff can be worn on the outside!
 
 
 
 
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